A Perfect Life

Yellow decor in my bedroom :)

My Google Reader has over 50 subscriptions, and everyday I drool over clothes, shoes, handbags, homes - new & renovated, dream jobs, celebrity news, and DIY projects (and probably 15 other categories of things I can't think of right now).

I have wishlist/favorites/To Do folders and tags in my Reader, Gmail, Firefox, the hard drives of 3 laptops, and on my iPad & iPhone notes.  Plus more saved pictures and links than I will ever have time to go back and organize.

The Internet is so amazing and inspiring, but at the same time it's easy to feel inadequate when you're constantly looking at people's best, spread over various blogs and websites - seeing what other people have accomplished and acquired.  It's OK to want things, and even having an ever-growing wishlist is fun because I usually don't get around to purchasing 1/98th of the things on my list, and 8 months later I look back and wonder why the heck I thought I needed to have that particular purse/necklace/dress.  But at some point recently, I started to feel overwhelmed by all the things I wished for.  And worst of all, I started to feel like I didn't have enough, or do enough, or achieve enough in my life so far. 

Only a handful of people in my reality know, but I really dislike my job.  The industry I'm in is tiring and competitive, not to mention boring imo, and the corporate environment - while the one I work in has several amazing, fun, friendly people - is just not the place for me.  The position I'm in is one that I would have never chosen, and one that I took because I finished grad school at a time when the economy just plain sucked.  I have a creative side, one that loves to write and be artsy, but due to my choice several years ago to go down a non-creative path, I've never had the time, discipline and tools to really focus on the side that I feel I'm meant to pursue.

After my mini epiphany the other day, I'm changing my perspective.  I'm filled with joy to have my DH and my loving family.  And when it comes down to it, that's all I need.  Well, in addition to my health (minus a few pounds).  Everything else is a plus.  And when you look at all those extras, there's really so much to appreciate. 

Will I stop coveting a single-flap (circa 2008/9) Chanel Maxi in Grey Caviar with SHW?  No.  But I'm learning to love my life and every part of it for what it is while I take steps to change it into what I feel it should be.

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